The Birds and the Bytes

This week Sir’s sideplate of crazy is about a hard drive love story. My stepdaughter Snaphappy needed a new hard drive to save her extensive photo library before the imminent demise of her previous laptop, and dad duly shipped off a hard drive, and responded to her email about the much anticipated drive.

This was the email received from Snaphappy enquiring about the hard drive she was patiently waiting for:

Sent: 09 May 2012 09:34
To: SIR
Subject: hard drive

Hey pops

What’s the story with that hard drive? Do you need it still? My computer is falling to pieces and it’s not even about getting a new one at this point as much as it is saving my pictures because as you know my current hard drive can only open on the almost broken computer.

Let me know? Otherwise I can back my stuff up on a friend’s hdrive in the meantime?

OH I love you!

And Sir’s response followed:

From: SIR
Sent: 09 May 2012 13:02
To: SNAPHAPPY
Subject: RE: hard drive reply

I have just re-read this email and realised you ACTUALLY want a story about “that” hard drive…oh ok I get it…..Here goes…

Once upon a time there was a Mommy Hard Drive and a Daddy Hard Drive and they were lonely and decided to make a little family. So Daddy Hard Drive took Mommy Hard Drive to the local Internet Cafe and got her truly sloshed and she didn’t give a damn about viruses either. However, they then went home and did the dirty, [you know all about the Birds and the Bits and the Bytes, don’t you?]

Anyway 15 teraflops later (average gestation period for small to medium removable drives), Mommy Hard Drive gave birth to twins, Derek and Dwight. (The hard drive in question is Derek). Unfortunately Dwight was like a mongoloid drive and did not go very far, only able to copy small of amounts of data, and even did that badly, so they killed him… But Derek was tested, passed and went on to an Incredible Connection, was moved from store to store and eventually was adopted by me.

He has been good to me and requires little or no attention.

Love and Kisses

Dad

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