Ebola for criminals

My blogging mojo went walkabouts for a while. Simply disappeared. Surprisingly enough it was not just taken, like everything else in South Africa where what’s yours is everybody else’s for the taking…. Because the concept of working for what you want is totally sci-fi fantasy around here. From thieving corrupt politicians right down to the scumsucking garbage that trolls the streets looking for the next target to break / steal / vandalise / destroy, the rest of the populace is forced to live in self-imposed prisons, with high walls and electric fences.

I think in most countries across the world, the citizens generally wish to work hard to obtain a higher and better living standard for everyone, the goal is to ELEVATE an entire country’s population to live better, have more, to aim higher. In South Africa I feel like the goal is to drag the entire population DOWN to the same level. It’s too much like hard work to move forward and achieve more and the mentality is that “We must all have equality – DOWN here at the lower-than-sharkshit level”.

Here we strike for better wages for months on end, but the goal is not just to get a higher wage, it is also to tear down, destroy, vandalise, intimidate and generally behave like brainless dimwits born to destroy. I do not understand this seeming inherent will to destroy and tear down everything that hints at possible progress or upliftment. What is it with South Africans that love burning down things? Schools, libraries?? When they ‘protest’ they throw rocks at passing motorists and burn tyres to block roads……. To what end? To look like the dumb fucking braindead scum you are? Why demand electricity, water, higher wages, or even honest Government employees when your behaviour indicates that you are not ready for any of it and sure as hell deserve nothing better than hardship and starvation.

For uttering such thoughts I will be labelled a racist. Fine. It took the new South Africa to turn me into one. If believing that destroying infrastructure and the economy is the behaviour of scumsucking shit makes me a racist then call me what you wish, millions of people cannot and will not condone such despicable behaviour.

Apartheid was vile. It was inexcusable and I have a lower than sharkshit opinion of the potbellied arseholes who enforced it, the same backward blinkered morons who decided who could go where, what the population could watch or buy, they were no better than the criminal garbage trolling our streets today. I believe that most white South Africans feel the same way, after all, the overwhelming majority voted to end Apartheid!

BUT………I need to ask a question…… And the knee-jerk response from most will be that I’m just a fucking racist at heart, instead of actually explaining what I wish I could understand – The Indian population in South Africa suffered under Apartheid too – they were treated as badly as the blacks were, banished to their own ‘areas’ with the same lack of infrastructure and support, prevented from getting ahead in the tightly controlled corporate SA of the day….. and yet, they thrived. DESPITE the racist Government of the day, they educated themselves, they elevated themselves, they created their own infrastructure, started and ran successful businesses – they gave the wankers in Government the big finger by MAKING IT, by achieving and getting ahead DESPITE the obstacles. They got on with it. They didn’t destroy and burn down their schools or infrastructure, they used it against the racist pigs to prove that they were BETTER!

We were talking to Italian visitors about the horror of Apartheid, about the oppression and treatment of people, of fellow citizens, and the lack of education opportunities……. And one gent’s question was simply……. “But what did they do to educate THEMSELVES?”

And that was the question that suddenly shut us all up. Because we couldn’t answer it.

We have been so indoctrinated by the “New South Africa” to believe that all whites are responsible for the desperate poverty and suffering around us, for the crime that is so rife, rape and murder seems gratuitous……. that we don’t lay one tenth of the responsibility or blame at the door of the very people who CHOSE destruction over any other options. When you compare blacks and Indians in SA who were subjected to the same disgusting laws, you have to ask why they are so very different?

I’m also sick of hearing that violent crime is a result of poverty!! Spare us the bullshit. The violent criminals in SA are not stealing for food, or raping for school fees, or murdering for a hot meal, they’re doing it because they enjoy it, it’s like a national sport. They’re doing it because it is so fucking easy to get away with it! Chances of them being caught are slim and news stories all seem to end with the same mantra – no suspects have been arrested, police are investigating. And as for all the bleeding hearts calling for a return of the death penalty – SA has a conviction rate BELOW 10% for murder – so what’s the point?

We spend more on security than we do on retirement funding! Madness! What is Government doing to curb crime? Well……… in MY humble opinion, what would Gov do without the taxes raked in from all the security companies, the fuel they buy for their patrol vehicles, the VAT on insurance premiums and the VAT collected when households have to replace what was violently taken from them……… And then you have to wonder who’s spending the taxes you paid last month, and the month before that…….. you and the miniscule percentage of the population that actually do pay taxes. How disheartening to read almost weekly that yet another politician has somehow helped themselves to a few rands from the tax coffers for their own benefit………..

And then you have opposition parties waving their fingers and shouting at the ‘bad bad politicians’ for being naughty, instead of making simple information available to the sheeple. They don’t care that another politician stole money, most of the population think that only whites pay taxes so it’s okay if it gets stolen. Rather inform the sheeple how many houses the stolen money could have built. How many kilometres of water pipes could have been laid. How many computers schools could have bought with it. Don’t stand there waving that patronising finger – shove it up your arse if you don’t have anything worthwhile to counter dishonest behaviour with other than “oooooooooooh you’ve been a naughty boy!”.

Why am I so angry today? It’s not just today. I am gatvol. Violent strikes, dishonest corrupt politicians, politicians behaving like disorderly pigs in Parliament (WTF?!!!!!!!), toddlers being murdered by fucking criminal cowards, policemen participating in armed robberies, lawlessness on our roads, aggressive little spoilt brats with fast cars, company bosses who spend recklessly (probably the ones who buy their arrogant offspring the shiny fast cars) and then leave a trail of destruction in their wake with suppliers unable to collect payment while the reckless bosses toast their balls in the tropical sun somewhere pretty, mediocrity being the new level of ‘excellence’, reward for incompetence and stupidity, Councils where staff arrive for work and then settle in to have naps all day – I wish I was kidding – staff actually sleep at their desks and we wonder why nothing functions!………. Fuck I could go on and on!!

Over the past two weeks, there have been a few incidents less than 500m from our own home – first, on a Thursday morning, a housekeeper was followed onto the property where she works, by criminal trash and she was raped and stabbed to death before they casually packed up whatever they wanted to take from the house. It doesn’t even make headlines anymore. Sir wrote to one of the popular news radio stations and asked why this lady, who was someone’s mother, sister, daughter, friend mattered so little that she did not even get mentioned, but everyday we are nauseated by blow-by-blow reporting on the Oscar Pistorius trial. Then again, news reports will probably be shockingly long if every one of the estimated 50 murders committed everyday had to be reported on.

Two days later we drove up the same road, which was blocked with police cars, security vehicles and people milling about. Upon enquiry we were informed that criminals had lifted a motorised gate off its rail and gained access to the house they robbed and that it was the 8th incident so far this month in just that one road!! What kind of society are we living in?

Yesterday we had a waffle day at home, 17 people eating, chatting, laughing, socialising…….. while our nextdoor neighbours were held up and terrorised in a home invasion robbery.

Today we are meeting with our security provider to see how much more money we can spend on security because criminal fucking rubbish roams free in this Country…… Decisions decisions…….. keep a panic button handy and risk being shot out of pure spite for even having the cheek to consider it…….. and accept that you are most vulnerable when leaving your driveway or returning home, because when there’s a gun to your head, you do as you’re told. We know. We’ve been there.

I’m gatvol. There are beggars at every intersection WANTING…….. there are criminals who will smash your car windows to grab valuables and run, so you drive with your bag locked in the boot of the car, the beggars get more and more pushy and aggressive….. well guess what guys, I’m done paying. If you want money go and beg at the entrance to fucking Nkandla, line up for a free meal at Tuynhuis. The millions stolen from the tax coffers every year could run soup kitchens and house thousands of homeless people – if you can find someone honest enough to run and manage it…….. why the fuck should I give even more for nothing?!

Car guards expect to be paid for watching your car in a parking lot. What is this? Insurance top-up? Or Pre-Insurance Insurance?

If it’s not beggars accosting you at every turn, it’s criminals! The thought of criminals dropping dead from Ebola makes me feel excited! Imagining them having to watch their own families be subjected to torture feels right. This is what SA has done to my mindset.

Enough already!

I am done feeling sorry for people. 20 years of democracy and SA has become the anal sphincter of the planet and still blames everything on racism, it’s the go-to excuse for everything. Alas, you get what you vote for…..

Here are a few concepts SA should give a go: COMPETENCE, INTEGRITY, HONESTY, ZERO TOLERANCE FOR CRIME, PRODUCTIVITY, HARD WORK, RESPONSIBILITY, MAINTENANCE, PROGRESS, SUPPORT…………….

Glad I could get that off my chest. It’s left me with no appetite. And therefore no recipe.

Wave to the Greek Friend

I have created this section to post random whackjob letters and emails written by Sir, which I’ve managed to save over the years. I’ll post something every week, time permitting.

The following is a letter Sir wrote to a Greek friend of his in 2008:

Hello,
My dear friend of Hellenic descent, I write to wish you a good 2008, where money of a serious currency finds you; sexually you find satisfaction like a goat shepherd with a large and willing herd, and healthwise you start to look like those happy fucking families in vitamin advertisements.

All that said and done, I am afraid some chastising is in order….. A few days ago I saw you and your father driving in that old Mercedes Sports car of yours that one only really sees old 60’s porn stars still driving, wearing bad sunglasses and a lot of gold. Of course, at first I was embarrassed and I  thought of ducking under my steering wheel to avoid eye contact but this would have been a silly move as avoiding the incautious manner our minibus mass transporters drive could also have been stupid.

So I decided to brave embarrassment and waved proudly at my old friend, who not only is deaf but evidently equally as blind. I did not notice you waving a white stick in front of your lame steed, so I surmise you drive with the trusted bump and avoid method.

I also sadly noticed (since watching CSI MIAMI and its spin offs I have developed a gift for picking up on detail) that your once jet black hair is splashed with a white grey, but I shall not comment further.

You were no doubt in deep conversation with old pops, presumably bitching in that hideous guttural language of yours about crime, Jacob, Thabo, and of course our good friends ESKOM. How I remember those days when we used to have braais at your place and the whole hairy-backed family would break out in hating our esteemed politicians and the countless criminals, your mother occasionally going off at a tangent and proudly showing her pace with Weber’s newest and latest spare part.

We, (my fine wife and I) also had the scourge touch us…. Carnivores as we are we decided to go have a bite at The Hindquarter in Craighall, and we sat down to order food and generally be merry, I went to the gents and donated some of my finest urine, shook the little man, washed diligently (hands), wrestled with the paper towel as the air drier was being held to ransom by ESKOM, and in my usual debonair way left the gents, walking into utter chaos.

One look at my wife I noticed something was amiss and also the subtle words of my lady..”GET THE FUCK DOWN SHIT IS HAPPENING HERE”, made me realize the situation was not exactly lending itself to culinary pleasantries. In my absence 4 or 5 armed Neanderthals came in, pistol-whipping staff and patrons taking bags, cell phones, jewellery etc, beating an elderly woman and fleeing, shooting at a car complete with two kids, thankfully missing.

As you can imagine this left us perturbed, my wife in particular, who is a quivering mass of nerves, which  in a strange way is quite funny because she is a little chubby and the quivering often makes me chortle which makes her furious. On the upside this shivering and quivering makes for very good sex, and thank God we have purchased a VIBROSHAPE BELT to counteract these movements for eating and other such activities.

However I do think we should actually meet soon, I swear to speak slowly and clearly, and am brushing up on my sign language.

I hope this email finds you well.

LOVE AND KISSES

SIR